This week I discovered that I am not the first person to recognise the connection between spirituality (or lack thereof) and issues with food. It turns out that Geneen Roth has been teaching and writing on the subject for over 30 years. I picked up one of her books, "Women Food and God" at the library a couple of weeks ago and finally got my nose into it this weekend. The title is misleading because Geneen doesn't really believe in God in the sense that many believe in (a guy with a long beard in the sky, granter of prayers, knower of all things) and her references to Buddhist teachings and retreats makes me believe she is of the eastern spiritual persuasion. Whatever her spiritual tradition, I think her teachings fit well in our discussions here at Buddha At My Table.
Her theory is that the relationship we have with food is a microcosm of our relationship with life itself and that our behaviours are expressions of our beliefs. She says that if we are interested in finding out what we truly believe than we have to look deeply into the attachment we have towards the muffin or the chocolate cake. Zen master Shunryu Suzuki Roshi said that enlightenment was following one thing all the way to its end. Roth thought that if she tracked the impulse to eat when she wasn't hungry to it's core then she would find every thing she believed about life and love and death all there in that moment. God (or Buddha) is in the chocolate cake! I knew there was something exceptional about chocolate cake!
Why are we so attracted to food even if we are not hungry? Roth says that we are attracted because we are hungry for something we can not name, something divine. She has found that compulsive eating is an attempt ot avoid ourselves, our pain, our suffering, our feelings, the present.... and that ending our obsession with food is about the capacity to stay present in the moment with ourselves.
She says, "No matter what we weigh, those of us who are compulsive eaters have anorexia of the soul."
We deprive ourselves by leaving ourselves hundreds of times each day, distracting ourselves from pain or any real feeling by blaming others, thinking about something else, daydreaming or planning the future, comparing ourselves to others, recalling the past, eating, spending life trying to lose weight or get fit or change ourselves in a myriad of ways. All of these things pull us away from mindfulness, pure experience and connection to God or Buddha Nature of whatever form of greater meaning one understands. Roth says that staying where you are with what you are feeling or sensing is the first step in ending an unhealthy relationship with food.
She also mentions that the pattern of running away starts in early childhood, at a time when we are not capable of handling some of the difficult feelings that come our way. However she encourages us to stay present now by telling us that we can handle the toughest challenges as adults. In fact its usually not the pain in the present moment that we are avoiding. We are usually avoiding pain from the past that has been left unresolved. We are therefore living in reverse! There is pain in the present moment for most of us, as well, but Roth states that experiencing it, being present with that pain and suffering rather than leaving the body, escaping into food, is truly living, and anything becomes possible when we are reside in that space. It is there that we find true love, divinity, peace.
Want to read more? Here is Oprah interviewing Geneen Roth about "Women, Food and God."
Although this blog is not focused on losing weight I also find this story inspiring. Susan Drolkar found benefactors willing to sponsor her weight loss and raised enough money for approximately 13,500 meals for the monks of Sera Je Monastery. She dedicated her 3-year effort to her guru, Lama Zopa Rinpoche and says that Buddhism gave her strength and helped her to see obstacles as opportunities to grow. She also says that she finally understands Buddha's teaching, “Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.”
Practice: This week let's try to catch ourselves as we become distracted from truly living. What are your favourite escapes? Try to bring yourself back to the present and examine the feelings that are present in your mind and body when you have the urge to run way, or seek distraction. Also try to be kind to yourself, both your body and mind.
Have a great week!
Metta,
Dharma Mama
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