RetrEATing

How did your last two weeks go? Did you try any meditation? How did you go with the posture suggestions?

This week I came across the following article by Kerry Monaghan, a Certified Health Coach at the Eleven Eleven Wellness Center in New York City and thought you might like it.

Eat Like a Buddhist in 10 Easy Steps 
By Kerry Monaghan
 
I recently spent a week at Dhanakosa, a Buddhist retreat center in the Scottish highlands, where we shared three meals a day with the community. As a nutrition coach, I took special note of the eating patterns that I found helpful to continue after the retreat:

1. Eat Vegetarian Foods

Following the Buddhist precept of non-violence to all creatures, our meals were all vegetarian. We didn’t have any meat, dairy or eggs. We did have lots of lentils, beans, soups, salads, and vegetable dishes. It’s chilly in Scotland in October, so our food was hearty and warming. 

2. Follow a Daily Schedule

We followed a set routine each day: breakfast at 8:45, lunch at 1pm and dinner at 6pm. 

Having a predictable daily schedule allowed us to plan our day and regulate the appetite. Dinner was early, and there was a long stretch of fasting from the evening meal until breakfast the next day, but my body quickly adjusted to the rhythm.

3. No Snacking

A cook was preparing our meals, and we didn’t have access to the kitchen between meals. There were bowls of fresh fruit set out for a snack, and there was also plenty of tea available at all times. Other than that--no snacking at all.

4. No Sneaking

Along the same lines, since all of our meals were shared together and there was no vending machine or secret stash of chocolate, everything we ate was visible to others. I see so many clients who sneak food (after the kids go to bed, for example), and I feel it’s healthy to eat in the presence of others.  

5. Save Dessert for a Special Occasion

During the entire week, we had rice pudding twice after dinner, and homemade oat bars after we did cleaning chores on the last day of the retreat. Sugar and sweets were very limited. 

Dessert was not a daily occurrence, it was a special occasion. I didn’t even miss dessert – my palette adjusted and I appreciated my meals more and found that the taste of fruits and vegetables became more vibrant.

6. Enjoy Home Cooked Meals

Every single meal was home cooked, including fresh-baked bread, soups and casseroles. As a result, there was not too much salt, no preservatives, and the flavors were fresh. 

I always encourage clients to slowly increase their number of home-cooked meals, because it’s so much easier to eat healthy if you have more control over how your food is prepared. Start with breakfast, and work your way up from there.

7. Eat after Meditation

In our schedule at the monastery, we meditated before breakfast, lunch and dinner. This meant that we were in a calm, relaxed state before meals--a good thing, because eating when you’re calm aids digestion. 

Most of us are not meditating three times a day outside of a retreat atmosphere, but it’s still good to take a few deep breaths, have a moment of gratitude for your meal, and eat in an unhurried and calm state.

8. Eat in Silence

We always ate without the distraction of radio, television, or newspapers. And we also took several of our meals in complete silence. 

I especially loved having silence during breakfast, because the morning is a more reflective time and it was nice to start the day quietly, without chatter. If you’ve never shared a meal in silence, you should try this, it’s a powerful practice. 

9. Have Porridge for Breakfast 

Every day we had the same breakfast, which was porridge with toppings (cinnamon, pumpkin seeds, raisins, muesli). Lunch and dinner varied. 

This caught my attention because I often encourage busy clients to systemize their meals. I tell them to find one thing they like for breakfast, and then stick with it. It makes your busy mornings flow more smoothly and allows your body to get into rhythm.

10. Help with the Meals

Even though there was a cook in charge of the meals, we each had daily chores and had to help with either preparing or cleaning up from the meals. 

This helped us all to be involved in the meal, and I know it helped me to feel more grateful for all of the effort that went into feeding the group.  

If these ideas resonate with you, I encourage you to take one or two to start with an incorporate them into your daily life. Please share which you find most helpful! 

Published October 10, 2012 at 3:21 PM

visit the author at www.kerrymonaghan.com

**

This article resonated with me because I have had similar experiences on retreat at Cloud Mountain, Sravasti Abbey and various other retreat centres.  The food tends to be vegetarian and wholesome. Often parts of the meal are home grown. The schedule usually begins with an early morning meditation before breakfast of porridge and toppings. Lunch is the biggest meal of the day and always includes a huge variety of foods including fresh leafy greens. Dinner is small, usually a simple soup and bread. Tea is always present, and a basket of fruit is accessible.Meals are usually eaten in silence (most of the retreats I have attended have been silent throughout the duration of the retreat but even those that have not been completely silent have had some duration of silence, during meals or in the evenings, or early mornings etc.). Everyone in the retreat community takes part. Everyone has a task to do to help make the community function. I have even been on retreats in which I didn't even serve myself. I simply held out my plate while others tipped a spoonful of rice and a spoonful of curry and some salad on my plate. At first my ego mind contested this arrangement but after a bit I found it incredibly freeing. I had no decisions to make in relation to food except to choose where to sit down to eat it. My mind was not filled with thoughts about what I should or shouldn't eat, if I should have seconds, have I taken too much of the tofu, or whatever. I simply got in line, picked up the plate on the top of the pile and held it out to be served. Amazing.

I am pretty sure that I would be very healthy if I ate like this all the time! It is harder in our modern day society than in retreat mode, as most of us can't afford a personal cook! Lunch hour is often a busy time, and there isn't always time to cook a big home made meal, but perhaps we can put some of these ideas into practice. I am going to at least try. I can easily bring a big salad to work for lunch, and cook a nice soup for dinner. I have found a breakfast I love, not porridge but a high fibre cereal I mix myself that includes linseed, psyllium, rice bran, and corn flakes, which I mix with berries, pea protein and soymilk. A friend has also recommended green smoothies and I can't wait to try them for the summer. Staying away from snacks, sugar and dessert is a harder one for me but also valuable.

I read another article recently (which I have lost but will post when I find it again) that spoke about taking the same care in preparing food as we do eating food, to see food preparation as a sacred act. How mindfully do you prepare food? I know I am often stressed, rushing, trying to multi-task as I hurry to make dinner after a long day of work, before my son hits meltdown or cooking porridge for the family while I load the washing machine, unload the dishwasher and eat my own breakfast. Perhaps tomorrow night I will sit my boy in front of a Thomas DVD (we often cook together but when we do I am always in "risk aversion" mode, trying to keep him from catching something on fire, cutting a limb off, or destroying something), and breathe while I chop, cook and wash. Will you try too?

Practice: Try the practice above of making food prep into a sacred act. Think of it as an act of generosity. Be grateful for the opportunity to prepare food for others if you are cooking for a family or friend, or simply be grateful for the food in your hands. Breathe while you cook. Notice the smells, colours, and textures of the food you are preparing. Be present in the moment. And as always please let us know how you go!

Have a great week!

Metta,

Dharma Mama

---

Meditation 101

Inspired by this (in which Martine Batchelor explores the process of grasping and its amplifying effects as well as how meditation can help us to release our clinging thus allowing for a more creative engagement and response) I thought we'd return to the topic of meditation. The Sanskrit and Tibetan words for meditation mean to familiarise or get acquainted with. In meditation we get to know our own minds and then transform them by familiarising ourselves with positive states of mind. We are able to clean out the cobwebs so to speak.

I have personally struggled with creating a consistent regular meditation practice, but when I have managed a daily meditation practice the effects were noticeable. There are a variety of aims for meditation. Most of us are familiar with the calming aspect. Scanning the body and letting go of any tension does wonders. Spending some time focusing on an object like the breath lowers the heart rate and gives us some space to act with intention. I don't want to undervalue the power of a calm body and mind but there are additional goals of meditation. When the mind is calm we then have the space to analyse our thoughts and behaviours in a constructive context. In the 11th century, the Indian Buddhist Master Atisha summarised essential points from the Buddhist teachings into what is now known as the Lam Rim or graduated path. The Lam Rim provides a comprehensive outline of analytical meditations designed to develop our mind towards compassion, wisdom, patience, etc. and on to enlightenment! Meditation also helps to develop concentration and focus. Sounds great right? So how do we start? Let's start with the body. A seven point posture is recommended. 

1. The Back: One should be seated and the back should be straight. This helps the flow of energy and helps keep the mind alert. My teacher used to suggest visualising the spine as a stack of coins. It is best to raise the bum a bit by sitting on the edge of a meditation cushion that is resting on the floor, but if you are unable to sit on the floor, you can use a chair. I have a Dharma friend who happens to be a doctor and has been meditating for decades. He suggests that if you are in pain siting on the floor to sit in a chair so you don't do damage to yourself. You can still straighten the back in a chair. Just be sure not to lean on the back of the chair if you can help it as this impedes keeping the spine straight. 

2. The Legs: The legs should be crossed. Of course must of us have trouble folding ourselves into the lotus position, but do what you can that is comfortable. The position of the legs effects the ability to keep the back straight so experiment with what works for you. If sitting in a chair, simply rest your feet on the floor.

3. The Hands and Arms: The hands should rest gently in your lap, palms up with the right hand on top of the left, thumbs touching. The hands should not rest on the feet but rather just below the navel. The elbows should be slightly away from your sides letting some air in between, which helps fight of sleepiness during meditation. The shoulders should be held up and back, not slumped forward but not worn as earrings either.They should be relaxed.

4. The Head: The chin should be tucked down slightly, not resting on your chest, but directing your gaze slightly down towards the floor in front of you. Holding the head too high may result in distraction and holding it too low may result in sleepiness.

5. The Tongue: If meditating for long periods it can be helpful to rest the tip of the tongue against the back of the upper front teeth and the rest of the tongue lightly against the upper palate as this assists in keeping saliva from pooling in the mouth, reducing the need to swallow.

6. The Eyes: The eyes should be gazing ahead, either unfocused or focusing on a specific spot about a foot in front of you. Most beginners find it easier to meditate with the eyes closed but the Buddhist teachings suggest learning to meditate with the eyes partially open. You can try this after you gain some experience. When I first hear this I thought, "how in the h are you supposed to keep the eyes just partially closed"? After time though it became easier. The idea is that if you keep your eyes open just a slit you will let light in, mitigating the risk of falling asleep, daydreaming and becoming distracted. Getting used to meditating with eyes open also helps us transition our practice from the cushion into daily life.

 7. The Lips and Teeth: The jaw should be relaxed with the teeth slightly apart. The lips should be touching gently. The breath should be drawn through the nose rather than the mouth if possible. 

If this all seems too complicated just try to keep the back straight and the gaze slightly downward. 

Sitting still isn't easy. It can be a practice in itself to learn to have patience with small discomforts. I used to attend meditation retreats twice per year and I always found that it started out fairly well, but by the second day my body would rebel. I would have an itch here, pins and needles there, an ache in my back, a pain in my knees. Given time the body would seem to settle, then the mind would rebel. I would want to stand up in the middle of a silent meditation retreat and scream or run out and jump in the car and drive home. It's challenging to look at one's own mind for such a long period! Luckily I never did follow through with either of those things and I found that after a few days I would settle in. 

On one retreat at Cloud Mountain some years back, Venerable Thubten Chodron challenged us about our fidgeting. She said that no one in the meditation hall was to move for an entire hour. If we felt as though we couldn't do so then we were to go to another building and we had to move continuously for twenty minutes. What a lesson! I joined the movers group with a handful of others. We sat down to meditate and began to move. Each one of us chose a different form of movement (rocking, shifting, arm movements, etc.) but none of us could meditate. In fact we couldn't stop laughing. We laughed until we cried at the ridiculousness of it all and then at the end of the half an hour we stopped moving and began to calmly meditate. I then had one of the most amazing meditation sessions ever. I felt as though I could have stayed still for hours! We returned to the group with a better understanding of why we sit still during meditation. It's very distracting not to do so!

We will continue with more about meditation and the Lam Rim next week. Until then, have a good one!


Practice: Let's try out some meditation with a focus on posture this week. Check your usual posture and try out the 7 point meditation posture. If you feel bold enough, try the exercise above of  moving constantly while meditating for a period of time (I suggest 5 minutes or so). Then stop and sit still (no scratching, adjusting, etc.) and see the difference. Let us know how it goes!

Have a great week!


Metta,

Dharma Mama

Offerings

Last week I wrote a little bit about generating  a mind of gratitude that understands our interconnectedness with all beings before delving into a meal. Many Buddhists say prayers or do specific offering or other visualisation practices before eating. Following are five contemplations that are recited and examined at Sravasti Abbey before a meal.

Five Contemplations  Before Meals

1. I contemplate how much positive potential I have accumulated in order to receive this food given by others.
2. I contemplate my practice, constantly trying to improve it.
3. I contemplate my mind, cautiously guarding it from wrongdoing, greed, and other defilements.
4. I contemplate this food, treating it as wondrous medicine to nourish my body.
5. I contemplate the aim of Buddhahood, accepting and consuming this food in order to accomplish it. 

Pretty amazing, eh? They also say a variety of prayers while imagining that the food becomes blissful nectar that transmits wisdom to those who consume it. They then offer the nectar to a small Buddha visualised at their heart chakras. 

Food offering  is one of the oldest Buddhist practices and can take the form of offering food to monks and nuns, those in need, or animals. Offerings are also made in sometimes elaborate rituals to Buddhas and the like, not because the Buddhas are going to eat them but as a mind training practice for ourselves. These practices assist us in developing a mind of generosity and in loosening the grasp of attachment. If you look closely you will often see Buddhist altars decorated with food offerings. Cookies/biscuits, fruit and chocolates are probably the most common. During specific ceremonies intricate sculptures are made of butter and flour. 

One time I helped prepare for a special Tibetan Buddhist ceremony for which food offerings were integral. I went to a local market and picked up yummy foods including dried pasta and jarred sauce, peanut butter and vegetables as well as the usual sweet  treats. My offerings elicited some smiles and laughter, but they were true offerings from the heart and we were able to donate them to a local food bank afterward. Venerable Thubten Chodron explains the practice of offering further in this article.

A good beginning offering practice is the offering of water. Water is something most of us have at home so it is easy to offer. The practice is to find some sort of clean containers and each morning fill the bowls with water while offering it to the Buddhas and Boddhisattvas. In the more advanced practice each of 7 bowls is filled with water while one visualises a variety of offerings (flowers, incense, music, water for drinking, water for washing, food, and light). The  bowls are then emptied and cleaned at the end of the day. Here is an article from the Tara Institute that explains the practice of keeping an altar at home including the water bowl offering practice. 

Another offering practice might be to offer food to people or animals in need, your elderly neighbour or a friend who hasn't been well.

Practice: Let's try some offering practice this week. Even if you don't feel comfortable with the concept of offering food or water to imagined Buddhas, try visualising yourself giving the food to those in need. You might even wish for those in need to have food and drink materialise for them. Do you think these practices will assist us in loosening our attachment? I am going to try....

p.s. I came across this fun little article about one woman's realisation about her Nutella fixation. Enjoy! :) 

Have a great week!

Dharma Mama

Grace

A number of years ago, my mother invited our extended family over for Thanksgiving. My step father got to work organizing the menu (he is a fantastic cook) and my mom worried about cutlery and seating. My task was to come up with some sort of "grace" to say before the meal. Sounds simple enough, and it would be in most families, but not in mine. We have an odd mix of lesbians and republicans, vegetarian hemp-wearing animal activists and good old boys, atheists, Buddhists, and Mormons. I wanted to say something meaningful without offending the Christian set. I spoke from the heart about gratitude and interdependence and when I finished there was a dead silence in the room. "Well this is awkward",  I thought. I then asked if anyone else wanted to say something, thinking the Mormons might want to thank God for the abundance before us. My cousin piped up, "Wow, how can any of us say anything after that?" We then began to eat with gratitude in our hearts (at least I hope so, they may have just been stunned). Below is something similar to what I said that night. Wouldn't it be great if we took the time to think of this before each meal every day? I am going to try to do so more often.

A Buddhist "Grace"

Today a great meal is on the table before us. Aren't we fortunate? Think of all the effort that has gone into the preparation of this meal for us. Wow, what kindness we have received! We can think of the people who planted the seeds, nurtured them and harvested the crops, for us. The minute beings who helped the plants grow and those who gave their lives in the process of growing and harvesting them. The people who prepared the goods for sale and those who transported them. The people in the supermarket chain who prepared and delivered them. Those who stocked the supermarket shelves and those who sold them to us. Even those who baked and stirred and minced and mashed them into a meal today. Beyond these easy to see kindnesses there are more, as we are all connected in the web of interdependence. The farmers and the supermarket workers would not be able to do their work if they did not have homes made for them by builders or farm equipment manufactured by factory workers. The seeds themselves would not be present if there weren't plants before them, similarly cared for by those who grew them. The truck drivers could not transport the produce if it weren't for the truck manufacturers or the road crew who built the highways. And all of these beings would not be able to do the great work that they do if it weren't for their parents who gave them life (and perhaps the doctor who saved it as well) and their parents, and their parents, and so on. When we look further we will see that every single sentient being has put great effort into the preparation of the meal before us. Let us be grateful and endeavor to repay the kindness we have received. Let us eat the food before us to gain energy to do good work in the world with an aim to benefit all sentient beings.

Practice: This week let's try to stop before putting anything into our mouths. Let's pause and think of all of the effort put into creating the food or drink we are about to consume. We can then generate a mind of gratitude aimed at benefiting others. Let me know how it goes!

Here are a few new links and tidbits to explore...

A World of Grace (a beautiful poster of examples of grace from cultures around the world)

Practicing Buddhism in Daily Life by Ven. Thubten Chodron

Exploring the 8 R's of Meditation: 

The Value of Nothing (from a yogic perspective rather than a Buddhist one):

Buddhist Blessing for Food
by Annie B. Bond

Earth, Water, Fire, Air and Space
combine to make this food.
Numberless beings gave their lives
and labors that we may eat.
May we be nourished
that we may nourish life.

Have a great  week!

Metta,

Dharma Mama

Getting Back On Track

It's been a couple of weeks since my last post but don't worry, I haven't forgotten Buddha At My Table. Rather, I have been doing a lot of thinking! You see, I am a working mother of a preschooler with special needs and with a partner who works evenings. I get 3 hours once per week to myself and I usually spend them at a cafe writing this blog, but the last two weeks I had the opportunity to attend a Dharma Centre for a meditation and teaching and I jumped at the opportunity. Afterall the blog is useless if I don't put the tools that we discuss into practice myself. how luxurious it was to spend some time with other meditators and spiritual seekers!

I found it somewhat entertaining when I sat down on my meditation cushion at the first session and learned that the teachings for the two weeks were to be on patience and attachment! Perfect I thought. I wished I had brought a pen and paper and deperately tried to remember every word so i could recount them here. However, after nursing my family back to health from a nasty cold and then spending a week with my inlaws in the country, where eating masses meticulously prepared artery clogging Italian/Australian dishes is mandatory,  I unfortunately remember very little.

So today I finally have  time to write but have fewer things to say. A book on the Buddhist monastic code sits beside me on the table as I sip my tea, but I will need more than these three hours to absorb the details enough to discuss them. Next week we will get back on track with a new topic related to Buddhism and food. I will leave you this week with some interesting links and a question. Do any of you say grace, a prayer, or express gratitude at meals? Do you have rituals around eating like taking a deep breath before starting, eating in silence or chewing each bite 20 times? I think we will discuss some of the Buddhist blessings and practices performed before or during eating soon.

I am curious what you think of this one...do any of you feel like the author sometimes?
http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/amonticello/2012/08/against-the-pursuit-of-happiness-a-meditation/#comment-243544

The latest Zen Habits post on foodaholism is great...

http://zenhabits.net/foodaholic/

And a teaching on the roots of addiction from Venerable Metteyya on Tricycle...

http://www.tricycle.com/blog/video-teaching-venerable-metteyya-addiction

Practice: This week let's focus on gratitude. For what are you grateful? Have you expressed it lately? 

Metta, 

Dharma Mama

With gratitude....

The Noble Eightfold Path

Last week I explained the Four Noble Truths and said that we would delve further into the fourth truth, the Truth of Path, which is the path outlined by Buddha to cease our suffering. After we make it through these we can get into how all of this talk of the 4 of this and the 8 of that and the 3 of the other relates to our topic of food and eating.

So here they are:

Right View - This is about seeing reality as it really is. It specifically refers to understanding the teachings of impermanence and emptiness (we haven't gone into these yet but will!). In simple terms these teachings are about the changing nature of everything and how things aren't really as they seem, they are less solid, less concrete. This is a complex concept so I will point you towards teachings by qualified teachers when we get further into the subject of emptiness.

Right Intention - This refers to one's attitude and determination. It is about seeing the value in spiritual endeavors. It has three aspects. The first is receptivity or openness. The second is renunciation, being willing to give up that which causes us suffering. The third aspect is having loving thoughts.
Right Speech - This refers to what Jack Kornfield calls "speech from the heart". It is using our speech in ways that benefit others rather than those that harm others. The first aspect is of telling only that which is true and the second is of using speech that is helpful. The opposite of Right Speech (Wrong Speech) is gossip, unnecessary or untruthful speech.

Right Action - This refers to what is called "Ahimsa" in Sanskrit. It is acting in a way that does not harm other beings. That sounds far more simple than it actually is. Most of the time we go about our lives without stopping to think about the consequences of our actions. Buddha asks us to do so. There are two aspects to Right Action.There is the restraint of not-harming, for example not killing, and then there is the active side of performing positive actions, for example, saving lives. The five basic precepts of a lay practitioner we discussed previously fall under Right Action. What I found when I first started to examine my actions to determine if they were beneficial, a small space appeared between the thought and the action, so I could make a purposeful decision about my actions. It's amazing. I remember thinking that I had always thought that I was a nice person until I started studying Buddhism! When you start to look at your actions you might see areas that need improvement like I did.

Right Livelihood - This refers to making a living in a way that does not harm. It has five aspects. The first is doing something that is not harmful, so not doing work that involves weapons, drugs, killing, slavery, poisons, etc. The second is appropriate happiness. There are three aspects to appropriate happiness. The first is having some kind of work that you can do. The second is producing something from your work so you can contribute in some way to your family or the community and feel good about your contribution. The third is being free from debt (how wonderful would that be?!) and the fourth is being free from blame or fault, not doing work for status or because of some other external reason but rather because it comes from the heart. The third is growth and awareness which is about bringing awareness to your work so you can use it as an opportunity to grow. The fourth is simplicity which has become a movement hasn't it? You may know people who quit their job in advertising to start a nursery or become a musician. The fifth aspect is service. We can frame our work as service no matter what what we do. We can focus on giving service to those with whom we interact every day, our coworkers, employees, managers, clients, readers, customers, etc. Keeping service in mind can transform our work.
Right Effort - This is about putting effort into spiritual study. No matter how many teachings we attend, how many books we read, how much knowledge we have, we will not become enlightened unless we put effort in and practice! There are four types of effort. The first is to abandon what is not skillful (i.e. attachment, anger). The second is to sustain the cessation of what you have abandoned. It wouldn't do a lot of good to stop and then start again, eh? The third is to cultivate that which is skillful such as love, compassion and wisdom, and the fourth is to maintain that which you have cultivated.

Right Mindfulness - This is about seeing clearly without judging or trying to change what is. It is about being fully aware, being really present in the moment with all our senses. It is then about reacting to that what we see with our awareness in a positive way.
Right Concentration - This has two parts. The first is about quieting the mind, to slow down and calm ourselves so we can begin. The second part is to focus the mind into single pointed concentration. This is the vehicle to understanding.

Sometimes a simple reminder can bring me back to a skillful mindset. I find it hard to get through the mountains of email I receive but it's such a nice surprise to get a weekly Buddhist Quote. They tend to pull me back to a positive attitude. Shambala Publications has a variety of weekly quotes to which you can subscribe, His Holiness the Dalia Lama, Pema Chodron, Chogyam Trungpa...check them out here. Another thing I used to do and have recently just begun again is to find a book of quotes or sayings and read one every morning, perhaps as you sit down for breakfast. An old housemate Sam and I used to do this. We had a book of Dalai Lama Quotes and another from the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. Reading a short statement gave a focus for the day. I had forgotten about the practice until Sam sent me this book in the mail recently. Much better than watching the news or checking facebook messages over breakkie!

Practice: This week let's look at Right Livelihood. Examine how you can infuse service into your work life. Are there moments when you can practice mindfulness? Meditation? Compassion and Care? Restraint? See if you can transform your experience at work by looking at it as an opportunity to practice patience, love, kindness, non-attachment, etc. Maybe if I was focused on others I wouldn't be focused on the afternoon tea and treats quite so much? Let's see.....

Have a great week!

Metta,

Dharma Mama

The Four Noble Truths

Continuing from last week's discussion of Buddhist ethics, today we will look at the 4 Noble Truths. When the historical Buddha first began to teach, he explained the Four Noble Truths which are the core of Buddhist teachings.

The First Noble Truth is called the Truth of Suffering and refers to unsatisfactory nature of life. Buddha  explained three types of suffering. The first is called the Suffering of Suffering. This is the suffering of pain and illnesses, etc. The second is the Suffering of Change. This is the suffering we experience when a relationship ends, a favourite tea cup breaks, or our reputation is tarnished. The Third type of suffering is called All-Pervasive Suffering. This refers to the conditions that exist because of the way in which we perceive ourselves in relation to the world. It is the basis of the other two sufferings and is challenging to see. However if we strive to understand the nature of our experience then we can change it. I have heard it equated to a dormant fatal disease. It's there even if we are consciously unaware and we are not able to heal it  until we know and understand it.

This leads nicely into the Second Noble Truth which is the Truth of the Cause of Suffering. Buddha taught that the mind which is influenced by negative thoughts is the cause of suffering. The clinging mind that wants something other than that which is at the present moment is the problem. When we have positive mindstates or experiences we cling to them, not wanting them to end and when we have negative ones we want to push them away. This clinging mind is what causes our suffering.

The Third Noble Truth is the Truth of Cessation of Suffering. Buddha taught that it is possible to cease the suffering we experience. If the root cause of suffering is within our own mind, then the way out of suffering will be found by deeply examining the true nature of mind. Buddha said that if we realise the true nature of our minds then we will be released from suffering.

The Forth Noble Truth is the Truth of the Path to the Cessation of Suffering. Buddha outlined the method for achieving the cessation of suffering which is the Noble Eightfold Path, separated into three categories, Wisdom, Ethics and Concentration. I will just list the eight today and explain them further next week.

Right View
Right Intention
Right Speech
Right Action
Right Livelihood
Right Effort
Right Mindfulness
Right Concentration

Another way to explain the 4 Noble Truths is by using a medical analogy. Think of Buddha as the physician. The 1st Noble Truth is the Diagnosis, the 2nd Noble Truth is the Etiology, the Third Noble Truth is the Prognosis, and the 4th is the Prescription.


Practice: This week spend some time examining suffering in your life. When you get upset, take a look at what type of suffering you are experiencing. Suffering of suffering? Suffering of change? Does examining your suffering in this way change it? Let us know how it goes! 

Chat with you next week....until then take good care of yourselves!

Metta,

Dharma Mama

Eating Meat

“People think of animals as if they were vegetables, and that is not right. We have to change the way people think about animals. I encourage the Tibetan people and all people to move toward a vegetarian diet that doesn’t cause suffering.”
– H.H. the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet

In the last couple of posts I mentioned that the basis for Buddhist ethics is determining whether actions are harmful to sentient beings and then refraining from those things which are determined to be harmful. So when it comes to the topic of eating meat we have to examine whether doing so is harmful to others. There are countless writings illuminating the suffering involved in the production of animal products in our society. If you are not familiar, you might take a look at Jonathan Safran Foer's Eating Animals, watch the film Food Inc. , or read one of Michael Pollan's books. I really enjoyed The Omnivore's Dilemma. These are not Buddhist arguments, but rather general writings on the ethics of food production in our society.

Taking a look from a Buddhist perspective we might take note that Buddhists consider the time of death a particularly important moment in one's life. It is said that one's state of mind at the time of death is a major factor in determining one's next rebirth. When we kill an animal for food, we have no idea what state its mind is in, and if we were able to view its thoughts we would likely see fear or anger. Therefore by killing it at that moment we may be condemning the animal to a poor rebirth filled with intense suffering. We might also consider how our own karma might be affected by eating meat. A karmic result of killing or being involved in the killing of animals (even if it is an indirect action) may be a habituation to killing, leading to being one who easily kills in future lives. It may also lead to being killed oneself or may result in a rebirth filled with suffering. For these reasons it would be wise to refrain from killing animals. We may think that it doesn't matter because we don't actually kill the animals ourselves, but rather purchase animal products at the supermarket, but having others kill for us means we are condemning those people to the same karmic suffering. Further to the point, Buddha explained that all sentient beings have been reborn over and over again since beginningless time. If that is so, then we can infer that we have been every type of sentient being and have been in relationship with every sentient being in our previous lives. The Buddhist teachings encourage us to see every sentient being as our mother, since each has been our mother at some point in the past. Some of us have strained relationships with our parents but in general you see mothers providing tremendous love and care to their children, whether the mother is an elephant or a human. Remembering your appreciation for that motherly love and care and then imagining that the spider crawling across the floor once provided that for you, the cow in the burger you just ate gave that to you, the guy who cut you off on the highway provided that for you, even the grumpy teller at the bank once cared for you as a mother, can dramatically change your relationship with the beings around you.

 All of these points lead us to think that a vegetarian diet is the most compassionate way to sustain ourselves. However I think it important to remember compassion for ourselves and those around us, remembering to "start where we are". If vegetarianism is not an easy option for you, you might like to try a day without animal products once per week. Any little bit helps. Check out Meatless Monday for more info on the one day a week idea. I was mostly vegan for 15 years, but then my Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor suggested I eat meat due to an illness I was having trouble overcoming. At the time the hardest part was letting go of the identity of being a vegetarian and the experience gave me a new understanding of how I had been judgmental of others in the past and how attached I had become to a certain image of myself. I became more appreciative through the process of having to change my diet. More recently, I returned to a mostly vegetarian diet but this time I have found it much more difficult due to the complexities of my family situation. I started the family on Meatless Mondays a couple of years ago and soon enough my meat and potatoes partner was reading Dr. Esselstyn's book and was Gung Ho for a change to a vegan diet . We don't always adhere 100% (my son in particular is a big meat eater) but we do our best with a "middle way" sort of attitude and feel better about our relationship to the world around us for it.

The majority of Buddhist cultures prescribe a vegetarian diet. Often monks and nuns follow a vegetarian diet, even if lay people do not. In Tibet however, Buddhism encountered a strong meat eating culture and incorporated it. While I was living in a Tibetan refugee community in India I found that Tibetan Buddhists were often meat eaters and had various reasons for it. Some said that it was hard at a high altitude to find enough vegetarian foods for proper nutrition. Some said that they were not wealthy enough to purchase vitamins like we do in developed countries and felt a vegetarian diet without supplements would not keep them healthy. Others told me that they feel it is okay to eat meat because it is possible to purify actions after committing them ( Purification practices are something like the Buddhist equivalent of saying confession and doing a number of Hail Mary's) . There was also the argument I mentioned in the last post that at least if they eat a yak they can take one life and feed the whole village, whereas if they ate fish it would require taking a large number of lives to feed the same number of people. While spending time with Tibetans it became clear to me that they have a strong cultural attachment to eating meat and dairy products, after generations of reliance on animals as nomadic peoples. A long term Dharma friend, Zhiwa, recently pointed me in the direction of a Tibetan by the name of Geshe Phelgye who is trying to change that with his Universal Compassion Movement. Here is his website.

Please also take a look at Zhiwa's comments and website. After practicing law for many years he is very skillful with the written and spoken word. He shares his thoughts as a Buddhist environmental activist on the subject of eating meat here on his website. Scroll down to the section called Anti-Establishment Planetarianism! for the "meat" of  it.

Practice: This week spend some time thinking about the love and care your mother provided for you. If you have a strained relationship with your mother you may want to choose another person in your life who has cared for you, such as a father, grandparent, guardian, carer, etc. Spend some time focusing on your feelings around that person and generate true appreciation for their care. Think about how you would like to repay their kindness. Then spend some time thinking about the concept of rebirth and the possibility of all sentient beings around you having been your mother at some point in the past. Try to generate a genuine feeling of love and compassion for all sentient beings.

Have a great week!

Metta,

Dharma Mama

Buddhist Ethics - The Five Precepts

In introducing the topic of ethics last week I mentioned the 5 Precepts to which lay Buddhists adhere. There are different levels within each precept. For example, the first is not to kill. Breaking the precept at the root is to kill a human, but once you start to examine your behaviour to see if any of your actions, words or thoughts are harmful to others, you might also decide to avoid stepping on bugs or eating meat, or you might decide to take the fewest lives possible. I find it quite interesting that in western society we tend to evaluate the value of a life according to a hierarchy. Some westerners say they don't mind eating fish or chicken but won't touch larger more "sophisticated" animals like cows or pigs, for example. Others opt out of eating animals with a face, but are happy to munch on a muscle or a scallop. Buddhists on the other hand, tend not to apply this hierarchy and rather focus solely on taking as few lives as possible . Therefore they would rather kill one yak which can feed an entire village than kill the heap of fish necessary to feed the same village, as it would be necessary to end many more lives. I have heard it said that a bug's life is just as precious to that bug, as a cow's life is to a cow, as yours is to you. Some Buddhists advocate for eating a vegetarian diet. We will discuss that more next week.
The other four of the 5 Precepts similarly have different layers. The vow against intoxicants usually refers to alcohol and mind altering drugs of the non-prescription variety, but taken further it can mean abstaining from caffeine, sugar, television, or even friends and environments that do not support a calm mind. The precept to refrain from stealing has been explained to me as not taking what is not your own and has not been given. That means pens from work, or sugar packets from the cafe! The vow against lying is about refraining from saying that what is not true (even to the telemarketer on the phone who has interrupted your dinner!), but my teacher also points out that exaggeration is also included, such as embellishing a story to make it sound better or complaining that your partner NEVER does the dishes.  The precept regarding sexual misconduct refers to adultery, but if you look deeper you can also ask yourself if you use your body or sexuality in other ways which are harmful. My teacher includes abstaining from the use of pornography.

So how do these precepts relate to our relationship with food? I don't know about you but I am pretty sure that I am at least somewhat deceitful, at least to myself, in terms of what and how I eat. I may even polish off the last bit off my partner's chocolate, or "borrow" a few coins from my son's piggy bank for my morning caffeine when I am low on change. When it comes to intoxicants, I am pretty sure that my sweet treats or my "habit" for a strong cup of tea counts at some level. Perhaps there is something for us all to learn from these basic vows. As I mentioned last week, the basis for Buddhist ethics is examining weather a specific action could be harmful to other sentient beings and then choosing actions which are beneficial. I suspect that if we all did just that we might make some changes to our eating habits. In the modern era that might mean choosing organic, non-GMO, or local foods or to purchase items from farmers markets so that packaging is kept to a minimum. It may mean only eating enough to sustain us and donating extras to those in need.  At the very least I think it would mean that we would treat ourselves with compassion and choose foods that are not harmful to our own health. Choosing foods that make us feel our best might also help us to be more compassionate, loving and wise with others.

Want more? This is a link to a teaching by Venerable Thubten Chodron on Ethics. She discusses the 8 worldly concerns which we will discuss more in the coming weeks.  This one is about the Eightfold Path which Buddha prescribed. Again, we will get to that as well, before we finish with ethics. Stay tuned for more on ethics including; the Bodhisattva Vows, Monastic Vows, The Noble Eightfold Path, The Eight Worldly Concerns, Eating Meat (who does, who doesn't, why and how), Fasting, and more...as always I welcome your comments, questions, and additions. I look forward to hearing from you. Until then. Have a great week!

Practice: This week let's take a closer look at how our actions and thoughts in relation to food harm or help ourselves and others. Do a short breathing meditation to calm your mind and then spend some time contemplating the 5 precepts in relation to your own experience.

Metta,

Dharma Mama

Moving on from Attachment

Since it is the beginning of a new month, it is time to move on from the subject of attachment to a new topic but since attachment is such a huge subject, and we have barely scratched the surface, we will return to the discussion again soon. Before we move on however I thought I would share this quote I found this week.

"Unfortunately, we can easily confuse nonattachment with avoidance of attachment. Avoidance of attachment, however, is not freedom from attachment. It’s another form of clinging—clinging to the denial of your human attachment needs, out of distrust that love is reliable."

- John Welwood, "Human Nature, Buddha Nature"

So it seems that avoiding the chocolate cake in my life is not the answer. Rather, I have to address the root cause of my attachment, which Buddha would refer to as "ignorance", ignorance about the true nature of the chocolate cake and the true nature of myself. And how do we become wise? Not just by reading books, listening to teachings and following blogs (although those things do help) but by meditating. There are heaps of types of meditation and countless meditation teachers out there so we will take a look at meditation in a Buddhist context soon. If you want to start a meditation practice in the meantime, go for it but remember to start small (even 5 minutes will do) and build a regular and consistent practice, then slowly add to the length of time. A good starting practice is breathing meditation to calm the mind. Mindfulness pratice is also great. Here is a link to a great book on how to meditate. I referenced the book a lot when I led meditations in a Dharma Centre in the US. You can even download some guided meditations from the author on the web page. I was also just introduced to Tricycle Magazine's "Meditation Doctor" here. What a great concept!

Okay, now on to something new. I am inspired to focus on  the topic of ethics this month because I have signed up for the Plastic Free July Challenge and would like to examine the impact of my actions and behaviours more broadly. Do you think about what, when, where, why and how you eat? We will do so this month as we explore ethics in the Buddhist context.

Buddhist ethics are essentially governed by examining whether an action has potential to be harmful to one's self or to others, and by avoiding actions that might possibly be harmful.  Buddha set out the Eightfold Path for ending suffering and attaining enlightenment. In addition, lay Buddhists take vows called the 5 precepts, abstaining from killing, stealing, lying, sexual misconduct and taking intoxicants. Monks and Nuns take hundreds of vows. We will delve deeper into these vows and their meaning in the coming weeks.

In the meantime, here are a couple of interesting links on different topics. I love getting my geek on with Buddhist Geeks. Whether you want to learn about brain science and Buddhism or the similarities between gamers and Bodhisattvas, they have fabulous pod casts and videos to satisfy your curiosity. Check out their website here. This episode is a discussion with one of my favourite teachers, renowned scholar Dr. Jeffrey Hopkins. I am also looking forward to sitting down and watching this full length documentary about a Tibetan Buddhist master and his western born son. Hope you enjoy it too.

Practice: This week let's make a commitment to sit down for a meditation session. If you can do one every day fantastic. If not,  do what you can. It is really helpful to set a commitment to yourself and keep it so try for something realistic like 5 or 10 minutes for how many days you think is realistic. Set a timer so you aren't watching the clock. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. You can focus on the feeling of your breath going in and out at the tip of your nose or you can focus on the rise and fall of your chest. Choose either one but stay with your choice for the entire session, don't switch back and forth. Try to stay present in your breath. If you drift away, don't judge, just refocus your attention on the breath and continue. Try it out and let me know how you go!

Have a great week!

Metta,

Dharma Mama

Buddha in the Chocolate Cake

This week I discovered that I am not the first person to recognise the connection between spirituality (or lack thereof) and issues with food. It turns out that Geneen Roth has been teaching and writing on the subject for over 30 years. I picked up one of her books, "Women Food and God" at the library a couple of weeks ago and finally got my nose into it this weekend. The title is misleading because Geneen doesn't really believe in God in the sense that many believe in (a guy with a long beard in the sky, granter of prayers, knower of all things) and her references to Buddhist teachings and retreats makes me believe she is of the eastern spiritual persuasion. Whatever her spiritual tradition, I think her teachings fit well in our discussions here at Buddha At My Table.
Her theory is that the relationship we have with food is a microcosm of our relationship with life itself and that our behaviours are expressions of our beliefs. She says that if we are interested in finding out what we truly believe than we have to look deeply into the attachment we have towards the muffin or the chocolate cake. Zen master Shunryu Suzuki Roshi said that enlightenment was following one thing all the way to its end. Roth thought that if she tracked the impulse to eat when she wasn't hungry to it's core then she would find every thing she believed about life and love and death all there in that moment. God (or Buddha) is in the chocolate cake! I knew there was something exceptional about chocolate cake!

Why are we so attracted to food even if we are not hungry? Roth says that we are attracted because we are hungry for something we can not name, something divine. She has found that compulsive eating is an attempt ot avoid ourselves, our pain, our suffering, our feelings, the present.... and that ending our obsession with food is about the capacity to stay present in the moment with ourselves.

She says, "No matter what we weigh, those of us who are compulsive eaters have anorexia of the soul."

We deprive ourselves by leaving ourselves hundreds of times each day, distracting ourselves from pain or any real feeling by blaming others, thinking about something else, daydreaming or planning the future, comparing ourselves to others, recalling the past, eating, spending life trying to lose weight or get fit or change ourselves in a myriad of ways. All of these things pull us away from mindfulness, pure experience and connection to God or Buddha Nature of whatever form of greater meaning one understands. Roth says that staying where you are with what you are feeling or sensing is the first step in ending an unhealthy relationship with food.

She also mentions that the pattern of running away starts in early childhood, at a time when we are not capable of handling some of the difficult feelings that come our way. However she encourages us to stay present now by telling us that we can handle the toughest challenges as adults. In fact its usually not the pain in the present moment that we are avoiding. We are usually avoiding pain from the past that has been left unresolved. We are therefore living in reverse! There is pain in the present moment for most of us, as well, but Roth states that experiencing it, being present with that pain and suffering rather than leaving the body, escaping into food, is truly living, and anything becomes possible when we are reside in that space. It is there that we find true love, divinity, peace.

Want to read more? Here is Oprah interviewing Geneen Roth about "Women, Food and God."

Although this blog is not focused on losing weight I also find this story inspiring. Susan Drolkar found benefactors willing to sponsor her weight loss and raised enough money for approximately 13,500 meals for the monks of Sera Je Monastery. She dedicated her 3-year effort to her guru, Lama Zopa Rinpoche and says that Buddhism gave her strength and helped her to see obstacles as opportunities to grow. She also says that she finally understands Buddha's teaching, “Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.”

Practice: This week let's try to catch ourselves as we become distracted from truly living. What are your favourite escapes? Try to bring yourself back to the present and examine the feelings that are present in your mind and body when you have the urge to run way, or seek distraction. Also try to be kind to yourself, both your body and mind.

Have a great week!

Metta,

Dharma Mama

Aversion and The Bath

This week we are meant to continue on the topic of attachment but I would like to take a little sidetrack related to attachment, to look at aversion. Aversion is the mirror image of attachment, it's opposite, and has some of the same qualities. I received this post from from Zen Habits' Leo Babauta the other day in which he says that the most important skill in life is to learn to be happy with oneself. The article struck me because that concept seems so simple, so basic that it's almost not worth saying. Of course we need to like ourselves and isn't it human nature to do so? When I really examine how I feel about myself I realise that I am not happy at all. I hold aversion towards myself in a variety of areas. I am also guilty of holding myself up against perfectionistic ideals, particularly when it comes to my body. After reading the post on self love, I decided to make friends with my body and write about it here as I believe it ties into my attachment to food. It's like a dysfunctional codependent relationship. The poor self image feeds the mindless eating and the mindless eating fuels the poor self image. As you may have read in the Introduction to Buddha At My Table, I have gone up and down in weight throughout my life but 5 years ago I was 25 kilos slimmer than I am now. As my weight increases so does my aversion to my body, and ironically I often find comfort in cooking and eating which exacerbates the problem.

So I decided to heed Leo's advice. When my son fell asleep early the other night I retreated to the bath, which is something I haven't done in ages, in part because I don't like being naked and in eye view. This time I decided to get reacquainted with my body while I soaked. I said hello to my toes and thanked them for keeping me balanced. I massaged my feet and shared gratitude for them and all that they endure. I put my hands on my rounder belly. This was the hard part. I thanked my belly for all the holding in and strapping tight, for all the stretching and shrinking over the years, for processing all the bits and bobs I consume into energy, even for the fat that keeps me warm. My butt and hips even got kudos! I stayed present with my new more bulbous body, massaging lotion into my skin after the bath. I felt uplifted, more comfortable in my skin.

I remembered a teaching by His Holiness the Dalai Lama that was recounted to me. I was told that he looked out at the audience and started laughing. He pointed to someone and said "You think you are tall!" He laughed, "and you think you are short!" He giggled some more, " You think you are fat!" he chuckled, "and you think you are thin!" The reason he was laughing was multifaceted. For one, these are just labels we apply to ourselves and they are so relative! We are not concretely any of these things. And they are so fluctuating! In this life I have been all of these things and more. If we are born over and over again (Buddha taught that we have been reincarnated again and again since beginningless time and will continue to do so until we attain enlightenment) then we have been and will be all of these things! We are not our bodies! We are our minds! And our bodies are in part manifestations of our minds, and our actions, our karma.

We will discuss karma and reincarnation more in the future, but for now perhaps it might help to try to think about our bodies with a lighter, looser sort of view. In addition it is probably a good exercise to learn to like ourselves. After all how can we have love and compassion for others if we don't even love ourselves? Take a look at the Zen Habits link and let me know if you have any ideas on how we can learn to like ourselves.

Practice: This week examine your thoughts about yourself. Try to catch yourself when you have derogatory or judgemental thoughts about yourself. Try to change the words you use. Don't call yourself  "bad" for losing the battle with the chocolate cake. Try to change the "conversation" in your mind to a supportive one. Also examine what causes aversion for you. What kind of behaviour does aversion give rise to? What triggers your aversion for yourself?

Enjoy your week.

Metta,

Dharma Mama

Face Off with a Brownie

How has the week gone for you? Did anyone else do the chocolate cake practice from last week? I took my chocolate cake seriously this week! I made it through most of the day on Monday having made positive mindful choices about eating, but when tea o'clock hit (around 3-4 PM I change from a normal person into a ravaging beast, craving caffeine, sugar, chocolate or the like) I glanced at the banana sitting on my desk and decided to head to the kitchen for a cup of tea instead. There in the staff kitchen was a home made chocolate cake glistening in the sun (okay maybe the glistening was from my taste buds rather than the sun). Aha, I thought! If I have a piece of cake I can do my Buddha At My Table practice for the week! I thought about cutting a thick slice but instead cut a thin one and placed it on a plate. My mouth watered and my tummy grumbled as I walked back to my desk, but it was my mind that was most active! That cake tasted amazing before I even stuck a fork into it. My mind created the most delicious item it could dream up! I sunk a fork into the chocolately goodness and took a bite. Yum. I chewed slowly. Hmm, good, but not as delicious  as I had been expecting. Throughout the next few bites I realised that the cake was actually a bit dry, tasty but dry. I let the creamy frosting linger on my tongue, but the experience ended quickly. Even though it did not live up to the cake my mind had projected onto it, I immediately thought of having a second piece. My mind was somehow still stuck on the projection, thinking if I were to have another piece maybe it would live up to expectations. Maybe it would satisfy me. I refrained from having another piece but it was interesting to see how my mind of attachment saw the chocolate cake as inherently blissful even though evidence proved otherwise.

The next day I was facing a three hour afternoon meeting and thought a big cup of strong tea (perhaps with some sugar) might help me make it through. I headed to a local cafe for a chai and saw a row of beautifully wrapped chocolate brownies. Without even thinking I ordered one to go. As I put it in my coat pocket I questioned my decision, but rationalised it by deciding I could use it for more practice. The brownie stayed in my pocket through the meeting. I offered it to a coworker but he declined. He wasn't really in the mood for chocolate cake today. Strangely neither was I. When I returned to my desk I placed the brownie behind my keyboard. I wasn't hungry but it sat there staring at me, beckoning me to eat it. I resisted the temptation and decided to see how long I could keep my attachment at bay. I was having a face off with a brownie! How long could I resist?

The brownie returned to my coat pocket when I left work and was forgotten in the busyness of the evening. I found it again mid-morning the following day as I walked from one meeting to another. I imagined pulling it out of my pocket, unwrapping it, scarfing it down quickly before I made it to my destination, like an addict secretly dosing up. That mental image was enough to stop me from indulging. I was hungry though. When I arrived at my destination I sat down at a table and nibbled on some healthy sort of hippie dippy crackers made of whole wheat, sunflower seeds and chia instead. A coworker offered me a cup of soup and I accepted. An early lunch, much better choice than a brownie, I thought.

The brownie continued to rest in my pocket, but by 2 PM I was thinking of food again. I didn't feel like eating lunch since I had already had the soup and crackers earlier and I had limited time to prepare a snack due to another meeting (yes my life is one meeting after another these days!), so I again contemplated the brownie. This time I gave in and unwrapped it in a hurry. I chomped off a large bite sending crumbs cascading down my chin and onto my desk, lap and everywhere. At exactly the same moment a coworker appeared at my side. He commented on the big bite and I turned a bright shade of red. I was caught in a moment of pure attachment, a moment without mindfulness. I was horrified, but not enough to stop eating. After all, I had a meeting with my manager in a few minutes! The brownie was soft and gooey and oh so chocolatey. I tried to eat more daintily as I reviewed project status with my coworker, but I kept eating. As I swallowed the last bite, I swigged down the rest of my herbal tea, spilling again. I felt slovenly as I wiped my chin and hurried off to my meeting. Enough with the chocolate cake I thought!! But removing chocolate cake (and brownies obviously) from my diet isn't going to solve the problem. Exploring my attachment for it will be far more useful. Why do I find it so appealing? I must be thinking that this cake will make me happy, that it has the ability to do so, that it is inherently delicious! Is it? What would happen if I ate the whole chocolate cake? Would it still be as appealing? Probably not. It would likely make me feel ill, and bring out repulsion rather than desire. The cake itself doesn't inherently hold deliciousness within it. In fact for some it may cause an allergic reaction. If it was inherently delicious it would always be so. The attractiveness applied to it is of my own mind's making.

So what do we do with the attachment? Here is a short video of Venerable Thubten Chodron teaching on the antidotes to attachment. Want more on attachment? Ven Chodron does a short teaching every morning called "Bodhisattva Breakfast Corner" and the series from 14-18 April 2011 was on attachment as a flood. A great description! Here is the first one. You should be able to find the other four on the same Youtube page.

Practice:  What is your favourite food? Shall we try some while examining where the attractiveness lies? Are you disappointed by it when it doesn't live up to expectations? What happens if you eat more and more and more? Does the level of attractiveness change? Let's try to recognise how it's attractiveness come from our minds rather than from the object itself.

Have a great week!

Metta,

Dharma Mama.

Defining Attachment

I usually write my posts on Thursdays, so I was expecting there to be one last post on Mindfulness on th 31st. However with a sick family at home and all the other busyness of life and motherhood, it is suddenly Sunday, and it's now June! So on to our next topic...Attachment!

According to Buddhist Scholar Jeffrey Hopkins, attachment in the Buddhist context means,
"The disturbing emotion that exaggerates the good qualities of an object that one possesses and does not wish to let go of it." Another Buddhist Scholar, Alex Berzin, explains that the concept is confusing for us westerners because in modern psychology the word attachment has a positive connotation in some contexts. It can refer to the bonding that occurs between a child and parent. Psychologists say that if a child does not have the initial attachment to the parents, there will be difficulties in the child's development. The Buddhist connotation of attachment is hard to translate into English because it refers to something very specific. When the Buddhist teachings instruct that we need to develop detachment, it does not mean that we do not want to develop bonds such as the parent-child bond. What is meant by "detachment" is ridding ourselves of clinging and craving for something or someone. It's the craving that is the problem, not the object or even the enjoyment of it.

One of hte most proficient teachers in the area of attachment is Venerable Robina Courtin. Ven. Robina is a fast-talking no-nonsense Buddhist Nun originally from Australia. I had the opportunity to stay with her and attend to her needs for two weeks some years back and she had a profound impression on me. As I was shaving her head on the first day she asked, "so do you want to be a nun?" Whether it was partnership or the nunhood that I wanted, she encouraged me to get on with it and do some work to get where I want to be. Lazy would never be used to describe this nun who used to be editor of Mandala Magazine. She now runs the Liberation Prison Project in addition to travelling around the world teaching. She also runs pilgramages to Buddhist holy sites for those with a lot of extra cash in their pockets. She often discusses attachment and karma in her talks and uses the example of chocolate cake to explain attachment, since it is one thing to which many of us have a strong attachment (don't worry she talks about sex too! No topic is off limits for Robina). Here is a link to a video of a teaching she did in California recently titled "Buddhism and Chocolate Cake: How to be Happy." There is a transcript version on the site too if you can't play the video. Following is a small piece of the transript to give you a little taste. Enjoy!

"Attachment is, you know, everyone in this room will have a different definition so please chuck-them out and hear this definition because this is Buddha's. It's a neurotic state of mind; all of them particularly do have a function of over exaggerating certain aspects of an object. So when you are attached to your boyfriend, assuming you have one, he will look, probably, especially in the beginning, he will look divine to you, won't he? Isn't it, when you're in love, you can't believe this divine person from their head to their toenails. Of course, after a while when he, you know, farts between the blanket instead of in the toilet, [Laughter]--you slowly, you start going down here and your attachment kind of gets punctured a bit and isn't so handsome after all. We all know that one, when you're really hungry for the chocolate cake, this is a simple point, but profound, it looks divine doesn't it? It's like vibrating deliciousness. And this is the point the Buddha's making: we think it comes from the cake, we think the cake is divine, you think your boyfriend is divine until you start realizing his mistakes, because you're blinded, because attachment in the mind, it's like you've got honey, what do you call them, rose-colored spectacles on. Everything will look just hunky-dory,just gorgeous, which is an exaggeration of reality. It's an exaggeration of reality, when you don't like that boyfriend, after 6 months you can't stand the sight of him, every time you look at him now, nothing looks nice. He looks really ugly, that's because now you've got your angry glasses on. You're aversion glasses on. When you've stuffed so full four pieces of cake, the cake looks disgusting now.

So we just go, this is normal, but these, Buddha says are states of mind. Attachment exaggerates the deliciousness and then has the energy of hankering after it, believing when I get it, that I'll get happy, which is expectations, and then possessing it, especially if it's people and things, it's mine! All of these are function of this cute, simple word, ―attachment.‖ And it comes from the deepest and the most energetic level. It is the expression, this attachment, of a deep, deep primordial sense of dissatisfaction. An aching sense of I'm just never enough. I do not have enough, whatever I do is never enough, whatever I get is never enough. Check our lives. This is a deep disease we have and this is the deepest habitual expression of this label,―attachment, which seems so abstract to us.

Dissatisfaction, what do you mean, with what? Well with everything. You get up in the morning and you just, something's just not right, you know. We can have it, some people have it very deeply, always unhappy, always, no matter what they get, they can be multimillionaires and be the best body in the world, dissatisfied. Always unhappy and that gives rise to, therefore I must get this, and I must get that and when I get this it'll fill up the gaping hole. This is the way attachment works. And Buddha says it’s the default road for life, it's what runs all of us, it's the motor that propels us from second to second of our experiences. This, and it gets down in the big bones, right down deep where we can only see it when we practice meditation and concentration and really be our own therapist, we get to hear the words how easily exaggeration, not just some physical feeling, you know. Anger's the same, depression the same, so because of this deep attachment that cultivated of that gorgeous grandma's cup or my handsome boyfriend, then desperately I don't want it to change. So we live in the fantasy world. We know very well intellectually things change, we think we're--we would never admit that they don't, we know damn well they do! But, emotionally, experientially, we cling to everything as if it won't change.

So when you have finally found happiness. Look at the words. ―I have finally found happiness, we say. And you've got this divine person, you've written the novel for the rest of your life. and it's like you locked it away in a cabinet and as far as you're concerned, it's permanent. And look at the devastation when it changes. I always remember reading an article in the ―Vanity Fair. I like reading magazines, learn about human beings. And it was an interview with Nicole Kidman when she was with Tom Cruise. Now she's with that nasty Australian bloke, what's his name? Anyway, the singer, you know. And she has two children [inaudible], Faith and Sunday, that's right. I read the papers. So anyway, whatever. When she was being interviewed in Vanity Fair when she was with Tom Cruise still, she said at the end of the article, ―We will be together until we're 80. [Pause] Of course, that's how we think isn't it? And then she covered herself and said, ―Well, of course if we won't be, I will be devastated."  Venerable Robina Courtin Feb 9, 2012 Chico California

If you want to hear more from Venerable Robina check her out on Judith Lucy's Spiritual Journey or on this show. There was also a documentary written about her and her work for the Liberation Prison Project called Chasing Buddha. It's great if you can find a copy!

Practice: This week try to recognise the clinging nature of attachment. At this stage let's just look at the sticky feeling when we are attached to something. Maybe even try some chocolate cake and see how it looks to you before eating, after eating a few bites and when you are finished. And let me know how it goes.


Metta,

Dharma Mama

Mindful Eating

How has your mindfulness practice gone this week? Have you been paying attention to your thoughts? Have you been able to stand back as a bystander and watch them come and go? I have been paying more attention to mine and have had some important realisations this week. 

I have a young son who is a very gifted child but he has some social, emotional and behavioural challenges that make life difficult at times. I have known that it can be hard sometimes but until this week I hadn't recognised that I hold a lot of anger around my son's special needs and the way they affect me and my life. My logical brain can easily say that he is a beautiful little boy, an innocent child, just being in the way he knows how, navigating his environment in his own way. How could I be angry? Isn't that unfair? But my emotional side does get angry and frustrated, hurt and sad, and at times completely overwhelmed. Today it was hard to stay calm when my son disobeyed me for the umpteenth time. We were at a toy store choosing a gift for a friend's birthday. I let my focus drift from my son to the wall of art projects and in seconds he had collected a variety of small toys in a fishing net and was bouncing them around the shop. Unfortunately some of the toys happened to be made out of glass and a glittery liquid which was soon dripping all over the carpet while shattered glass bounced around in the net and he sang a song. Instead of identifying my fault in the situation or focusing on my son's creative and exploratory nature, I got angry and embarrassed and felt utterly defeated. "WHY can't he ever listen to me!?!?," I thought.  

After purchasing the gift and a number of broken items, weathering glares from parents and sales staff, and wrangling my child back into the car, fishing net and all, I made my way to the local shopping strip feeling a bit broken myself. We parked and started towards the health food store. On the way I ducked into a patisserie and bought a little chocolate treat. I knew it wasn't the best choice but wanted a little bit of pleasure after the emotional chaos. Ugh. It's hard to look at our own ugliness but it is only in awareness that we are able to work through the muck and the mire and become better people. I noticed that when I became aware of my anger my first inclination was to eat even though my stomach was a little uneasy. I ate and noticed that I didn't feel satiated. I don't think I could have felt satiated even if I ate the whole patisserie because it was not a physical hunger I was feeding. I have a lot of work to do before I am a truly present and patient being but I wouldn't be able to work on those areas if I hadn't been aware of them. This is the gift of mindfulness!  

This is the second to last post on the topic of mindfulness before we move on to discuss attachment in June and ethics in July, so it might be good to write more about how to eat mindfully while we have the chance. I am drawn to revisit teachings by Thich Nhat Hanh since he has so often shared the simple yet profound teaching on eating an orange mindfully. In his new book Savor he uses an apple instead of an orange but the idea is the same. He suggests taking the time to experience every sensation the orange (or apple) has to offer while recognising all that has gone into the making of the piece of fruit.  

Following is an excerpt from an article by Thich Nhat Hanh on Mindful Eating that I just love. I've highlighted my favourite line. 

"Mindful eating is very pleasant. We sit beautifully. We are aware of the people that are sitting around us. We are aware of the food on our plates. This is a deep practice. Each morsel of food is an ambassador from the cosmos. When we pick up a piece of a vegetable, we look at it for half a second. We look mindfully to really recognize the piece of food, the piece of carrot or string bean. We should know that this is a piece of carrot or a string bean. We identify it with our mindfulness: "I know this is a piece of carrot. This is a piece of string bean." It only takes a fraction of a second. When we are mindful, we recognize what we are picking up. When we put it into our mouth, we know what we are putting into our mouth. When we chew it, we know what we are chewing. It's very simple.

Some of us, while looking at a piece of carrot, can see the whole cosmos in it, can see the sunshine in it, can see the earth in it. It has come from the whole cosmos for our nourishment.

You may like to smile to it before you put it in your mouth. "

"When you chew it, you are aware that you are chewing a piece of carrot. Don't put anything else into your mouth, like your projects, your worries, your fear, just put the carrot in . And when you chew, chew only the carrot, not your projects or your ideas."

"You are capable of living in the present moment, in the here and the now. It is simple, but you need some training to just enjoy the piece of carrot. This is a miracle. I often teach "orange meditation" to my students. We spend time sitting together, each enjoying an orange. Placing the orange on the palm of our hand, we look at it while breathing in and out, so that the orange becomes a reality. If we are not here, totally present, the orange isn't here either. There are some people who eat an orange but don't really eat it. They eat their sorrow, fear, anger, past, and future. They are not really present, with body and mind united. When you practice mindful breathing, you become truly present. If you are here, life is also here. The orange is the ambassador of life. When you look at the orange, you discover that it is nothing less than fruit growing, turning yellow, becoming orange, the acid becoming sugar. The orange tree took time to create this masterpiece. When you are truly here, contemplating the orange, breathing and smiling, the orange becomes a miracle. It is enough to bring you a lot of happiness. You peel the orange, smell it, take a section, and put it in your mouth mindfully, fully aware of the juice on your tongue. This is eating an orange in mindfulness. It makes the miracle of life possible. It makes joy possible. "

Practice: This week let's focus on a mindful intention for eating. For me this will be remembering that my stomach is only the size of my fist so I will watch portion size. For you it may be eating more fruit or vegetables, going without coffee or sugar, purchasing organic or vegetarian or whole foods, drinking 8 glasses of water per day or simply remembering to eat breakfast every day. Pick a focus and be mindful of what you are putting in your body. Then share with us your experiences over the week. I look forward to hearing your stories. 

Metta,

Dharma Mama

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"Like" or "Not-Like" is the question

This week we continue with our discussion of mindfulness, focusing on the aspect of mindfulness which is non-judgmental.

Being present in the current moment and aware of what is happening in our body, our thoughts, our feelings and beliefs is the basis of the practice of mindfulness but it is only part of the method. The other piece is about noticing without judging. One example might be that you are focusing on being present in the now and your mind wanders from one thing to the next until you are planning dinner in your head or you find yourself at the supermarket and don't remember the drive there. Instead of berating yourself for not being mindful, the method is to simply bring the mind back to the object of attention without judgement. This idea was once presented to me as an analogy of a train station and the image has always stuck with me. Imagine you are standing on a platform at Grand Central Station (or perhaps Southern Cross Station if you are in Melbourne). Your thoughts are the trains. As you stand firmly on the platform you can pause and mindfully, consciously decide whether to get on any of the thought trains. If you lose your focus and find yourself in Brooklyn (or Frankston for the Melbournians readers) then you simply go back to the platform and start again. The majority of us spend most of our time in automatic mode, jumping from train to train unconsciously, following our thoughts here and there, completely out of control. However if we can stop and be present, we will have the time and space to decide which mental direction to take.

Another trouble we have is that our minds are habituated into rating things as positive or negative. We construct our view of the world and our identities around categories of what we find appealing and what we don't. Have you honestly listened to your mental chatter from a third party perspective? I have been listening to mine lately and have been horrified to learn that what goes on in my mind is not consistent with what I strive to do and be externally. I am passionate about acceptance, social inclusion, diversity, community development, love and compassion etc. but  I was walking down the street the other day and was surprised to notice just how judgmental my thoughts were. The running mental commentary was all about rating the things I saw as to whether they fit into the way I think the world should be or not. "that's a cute outfit" 'That one really doesn't suite her." "those are such high heals, how ridiculous" "Yuck, that guy in front of me is smoking" "That shop looks nice" "that one doesn't" "Yum that bread smells good", "Ugh the butcher shop doesn't?" On and on...and if our internal rating system isn't enough, we can now press a "Like" button on Facebook or Instagram to show our 300 closest friends what we have put in our appealing category. Or even better we can also go on Pinterest and create a visual board of all the things we like so we (and the world) can see them. I am just as guilty as anyone. I love looking at all the pretty things on Flickr or Pinterest or seeing what everyone else is doing in the world of online social media. Can we do these things without judging? I am going to try this week and let you know how it goes.

It is only if we are aware of our thoughts that we can make the choice to change them, so practicing mindfulness can lead us to a calmer, more compassionate, and more in control place from which to make better decisions. When it comes to food intake it can mean having the time and space to choose whether to follow a craving or to decide whether to go for a second serving.It also means not judging ourselves as "bad" for eating cookies and "good" for eating salad.

If you want more about mindful eating check out these links:
Here is an article with some great tips on Mindful Eating plus a yummy vegan recipe from Zen Habits.
and I came across this Mindful Eating Quiz this week that helps us examine how and why we are eating.

How have the practices been going for you the last couple of weeks? I would love to hear your stories, comments, thoughts, etc.

Practice: This week let's examine our thoughts a bit more. Pay attention to your mental chatter and if you find yourself going down the track of rating things as good or bad, see if you can stand firm on the platform and watch that train go right on by. Particularly focus on your thoughts around food, eating, body, etc. And share what you find with us! Until next week....

Metta,

Dharma Mama