Mindful Eating

How has your mindfulness practice gone this week? Have you been paying attention to your thoughts? Have you been able to stand back as a bystander and watch them come and go? I have been paying more attention to mine and have had some important realisations this week. 

I have a young son who is a very gifted child but he has some social, emotional and behavioural challenges that make life difficult at times. I have known that it can be hard sometimes but until this week I hadn't recognised that I hold a lot of anger around my son's special needs and the way they affect me and my life. My logical brain can easily say that he is a beautiful little boy, an innocent child, just being in the way he knows how, navigating his environment in his own way. How could I be angry? Isn't that unfair? But my emotional side does get angry and frustrated, hurt and sad, and at times completely overwhelmed. Today it was hard to stay calm when my son disobeyed me for the umpteenth time. We were at a toy store choosing a gift for a friend's birthday. I let my focus drift from my son to the wall of art projects and in seconds he had collected a variety of small toys in a fishing net and was bouncing them around the shop. Unfortunately some of the toys happened to be made out of glass and a glittery liquid which was soon dripping all over the carpet while shattered glass bounced around in the net and he sang a song. Instead of identifying my fault in the situation or focusing on my son's creative and exploratory nature, I got angry and embarrassed and felt utterly defeated. "WHY can't he ever listen to me!?!?," I thought.  

After purchasing the gift and a number of broken items, weathering glares from parents and sales staff, and wrangling my child back into the car, fishing net and all, I made my way to the local shopping strip feeling a bit broken myself. We parked and started towards the health food store. On the way I ducked into a patisserie and bought a little chocolate treat. I knew it wasn't the best choice but wanted a little bit of pleasure after the emotional chaos. Ugh. It's hard to look at our own ugliness but it is only in awareness that we are able to work through the muck and the mire and become better people. I noticed that when I became aware of my anger my first inclination was to eat even though my stomach was a little uneasy. I ate and noticed that I didn't feel satiated. I don't think I could have felt satiated even if I ate the whole patisserie because it was not a physical hunger I was feeding. I have a lot of work to do before I am a truly present and patient being but I wouldn't be able to work on those areas if I hadn't been aware of them. This is the gift of mindfulness!  

This is the second to last post on the topic of mindfulness before we move on to discuss attachment in June and ethics in July, so it might be good to write more about how to eat mindfully while we have the chance. I am drawn to revisit teachings by Thich Nhat Hanh since he has so often shared the simple yet profound teaching on eating an orange mindfully. In his new book Savor he uses an apple instead of an orange but the idea is the same. He suggests taking the time to experience every sensation the orange (or apple) has to offer while recognising all that has gone into the making of the piece of fruit.  

Following is an excerpt from an article by Thich Nhat Hanh on Mindful Eating that I just love. I've highlighted my favourite line. 

"Mindful eating is very pleasant. We sit beautifully. We are aware of the people that are sitting around us. We are aware of the food on our plates. This is a deep practice. Each morsel of food is an ambassador from the cosmos. When we pick up a piece of a vegetable, we look at it for half a second. We look mindfully to really recognize the piece of food, the piece of carrot or string bean. We should know that this is a piece of carrot or a string bean. We identify it with our mindfulness: "I know this is a piece of carrot. This is a piece of string bean." It only takes a fraction of a second. When we are mindful, we recognize what we are picking up. When we put it into our mouth, we know what we are putting into our mouth. When we chew it, we know what we are chewing. It's very simple.

Some of us, while looking at a piece of carrot, can see the whole cosmos in it, can see the sunshine in it, can see the earth in it. It has come from the whole cosmos for our nourishment.

You may like to smile to it before you put it in your mouth. "

"When you chew it, you are aware that you are chewing a piece of carrot. Don't put anything else into your mouth, like your projects, your worries, your fear, just put the carrot in . And when you chew, chew only the carrot, not your projects or your ideas."

"You are capable of living in the present moment, in the here and the now. It is simple, but you need some training to just enjoy the piece of carrot. This is a miracle. I often teach "orange meditation" to my students. We spend time sitting together, each enjoying an orange. Placing the orange on the palm of our hand, we look at it while breathing in and out, so that the orange becomes a reality. If we are not here, totally present, the orange isn't here either. There are some people who eat an orange but don't really eat it. They eat their sorrow, fear, anger, past, and future. They are not really present, with body and mind united. When you practice mindful breathing, you become truly present. If you are here, life is also here. The orange is the ambassador of life. When you look at the orange, you discover that it is nothing less than fruit growing, turning yellow, becoming orange, the acid becoming sugar. The orange tree took time to create this masterpiece. When you are truly here, contemplating the orange, breathing and smiling, the orange becomes a miracle. It is enough to bring you a lot of happiness. You peel the orange, smell it, take a section, and put it in your mouth mindfully, fully aware of the juice on your tongue. This is eating an orange in mindfulness. It makes the miracle of life possible. It makes joy possible. "

Practice: This week let's focus on a mindful intention for eating. For me this will be remembering that my stomach is only the size of my fist so I will watch portion size. For you it may be eating more fruit or vegetables, going without coffee or sugar, purchasing organic or vegetarian or whole foods, drinking 8 glasses of water per day or simply remembering to eat breakfast every day. Pick a focus and be mindful of what you are putting in your body. Then share with us your experiences over the week. I look forward to hearing your stories. 

Metta,

Dharma Mama

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"Like" or "Not-Like" is the question

This week we continue with our discussion of mindfulness, focusing on the aspect of mindfulness which is non-judgmental.

Being present in the current moment and aware of what is happening in our body, our thoughts, our feelings and beliefs is the basis of the practice of mindfulness but it is only part of the method. The other piece is about noticing without judging. One example might be that you are focusing on being present in the now and your mind wanders from one thing to the next until you are planning dinner in your head or you find yourself at the supermarket and don't remember the drive there. Instead of berating yourself for not being mindful, the method is to simply bring the mind back to the object of attention without judgement. This idea was once presented to me as an analogy of a train station and the image has always stuck with me. Imagine you are standing on a platform at Grand Central Station (or perhaps Southern Cross Station if you are in Melbourne). Your thoughts are the trains. As you stand firmly on the platform you can pause and mindfully, consciously decide whether to get on any of the thought trains. If you lose your focus and find yourself in Brooklyn (or Frankston for the Melbournians readers) then you simply go back to the platform and start again. The majority of us spend most of our time in automatic mode, jumping from train to train unconsciously, following our thoughts here and there, completely out of control. However if we can stop and be present, we will have the time and space to decide which mental direction to take.

Another trouble we have is that our minds are habituated into rating things as positive or negative. We construct our view of the world and our identities around categories of what we find appealing and what we don't. Have you honestly listened to your mental chatter from a third party perspective? I have been listening to mine lately and have been horrified to learn that what goes on in my mind is not consistent with what I strive to do and be externally. I am passionate about acceptance, social inclusion, diversity, community development, love and compassion etc. but  I was walking down the street the other day and was surprised to notice just how judgmental my thoughts were. The running mental commentary was all about rating the things I saw as to whether they fit into the way I think the world should be or not. "that's a cute outfit" 'That one really doesn't suite her." "those are such high heals, how ridiculous" "Yuck, that guy in front of me is smoking" "That shop looks nice" "that one doesn't" "Yum that bread smells good", "Ugh the butcher shop doesn't?" On and on...and if our internal rating system isn't enough, we can now press a "Like" button on Facebook or Instagram to show our 300 closest friends what we have put in our appealing category. Or even better we can also go on Pinterest and create a visual board of all the things we like so we (and the world) can see them. I am just as guilty as anyone. I love looking at all the pretty things on Flickr or Pinterest or seeing what everyone else is doing in the world of online social media. Can we do these things without judging? I am going to try this week and let you know how it goes.

It is only if we are aware of our thoughts that we can make the choice to change them, so practicing mindfulness can lead us to a calmer, more compassionate, and more in control place from which to make better decisions. When it comes to food intake it can mean having the time and space to choose whether to follow a craving or to decide whether to go for a second serving.It also means not judging ourselves as "bad" for eating cookies and "good" for eating salad.

If you want more about mindful eating check out these links:
Here is an article with some great tips on Mindful Eating plus a yummy vegan recipe from Zen Habits.
and I came across this Mindful Eating Quiz this week that helps us examine how and why we are eating.

How have the practices been going for you the last couple of weeks? I would love to hear your stories, comments, thoughts, etc.

Practice: This week let's examine our thoughts a bit more. Pay attention to your mental chatter and if you find yourself going down the track of rating things as good or bad, see if you can stand firm on the platform and watch that train go right on by. Particularly focus on your thoughts around food, eating, body, etc. And share what you find with us! Until next week....

Metta,

Dharma Mama

Moving from Auto-Pilot to Awareness

How did your week go? Did anyone try a bit of mindfulness practice? This week I learned that I am much more able to be present when I am alone, and find that my attention drifts about while others (particularly my family members) are around. Lost in conversation or caught up in thoughts about keeping my son from running into the road or what I am going to make for dinner, I find it challenging to be fully mindful about what is going on in my mind and body or my environment, and to be honest, as a working mother I have very little time on my own.  Mealtimes are often harried with the family as we rush to get ready for work and school or as we try to keep our very active son from destroying the kitchen. When on my own, meals are often had in front of a computer or while checking messages on my phone. So, trying to be mindful at moments throughout the day is really good practice for me, particularly at meal times. I am going to focus on that this week.

I'd like to share an excerpt from Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali that caught my attention today.

"If we could learn to live in full awareness of our present moment and explore our own 'nowness', instead of rehashing the past or planning the future, we would find more joy in our lives, even moments of unsurpassed bliss....The term 'mindfulness' is misleading, suggesting a mind that is full. Rather, mindfulness is knowing what's happening at the time it's happening. We tend to charge through our days on automatic pilot. Preoccupied with our thoughts, we perform our tasks through a mental haze. Our thoughts rebound back and forth between a version of the past and plans for the future....It's quite possible for us to reach the end of a day to find that we have effectively missed the whole thing, and have no idea what actually happened. Having spent the day in our own heads we may have failed to: focus on our tasks, listen attentively to our children, taste more than the first bite of our food notice our surroundings, feel any build up of tension in our bodies, and acknowledge our emotions and what trigered them. If mindfulness is an awareness of all the present moment contains: the sensations of your body, your feelings, perception, assumptions and tendencies.....We might...take more care of our bodies as we learn which foods truly satisfy us, which positions feel most comfortable or how much better we feel after exercise. How are we breathing...How relaxed are our muscles...What is our posture like and what does this say about our state of mind? Being able to observe the rising and passing away of our emotions with mindfulness ensures we experience our lives fully, never ignoring the issues that can teach us the most."

If you liked this, check out Stupendous Joy's short interview with Sarah Napthali here.

You may remember that last week I mentioned that mindfuless is not just about being present but also includes not judging. We will discuss more about what that means next week. Until then, be well. If you want another mindfulness fix, check out this short video of Jon Kabat-Zinn explaining mindfulness or a short guided mindfulness meditation.

and don't forget to practice!

Practice: Everytime you put something in your mouth this week, ask yourself, "Why am I about to eat? Am I actually hungry or am I about to eat because I've been triggered by somehting in my environment? Am I about  to eat as a way of coping?" After clarifying your reasons, eat or don't eat but recognnise that there is an opportunity for conscious choice. from Eating the Moment by Pavel G Somov PHD

Metta,

Dharma Mama

Defining Mindfulness

"Again and Again, examine
Every aspect of your mental and physical activities.
In brief, that is the very way of observing mindfulness." 
Shantideva

Inspired by the Mindful in May campaign we will spend the month examining the Buddhist concept of mindfulness and how it relates to food and eating.

When I started to research the topic of mindfulness I was surprised to find that the term is so often used now that many books on the topic don't even define it, rather they assume we already know its meaning. Mindfulness has made it's way into mainstream psychology and medicine in large part due to the work of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn and now it seems to be everywhere, including in treatment for eating disorders and addictions.

Mindfulness in the Buddhist context seems to be about being completely aware or paying full attention as in the worldly definition of the word, but the Buddhist concept also has another aspect. It includes not evaluating, discriminating or judging. It's being fully present without habitual reactions or observing without reacting.

Popular Buddhist teacher Sharon Salzberg explains further,
 
"To understand mindfulness, imagine yourself doing something very simple, something that doesn't arouse a compelling interest--like, say, eating an apple. You probably eat your apple not paying attention to how it smells, how it tastes, or how it feels in your hand. Because of the ways we're conditioned, we don't usually notice the quality of our attention. Done this way, eating the apple is not a fulfilling experience. So you blame the apple. You might think, if only I had a banana, I'd be happy. So you get a banana, but eat it the same way, and still there's not a lot of fulfillment. And then you think, if only I had a mango--and go to great expense and some difficulty getting a mango. But it's the same thing all over again. We don't pay attention to what we have or what we're doing. As a result, we seek more and more intensity of stimulation to try to rectify what seems unfulfilling."

In the same article, Salzberg also gives a personal illustration of mindfulness and eating,

" (An) example of how our conditioning shapes our experience comes from my time studying in Burma. One day at lunch, I bit down on a whole pepper and my mouth just caught fire. Soon after, I had an interview with my teacher, Sayadaw Upandita. I told him I didn't like the taste of chilies, and he said, "Well, we Burmese don't like the taste of chilis either, but we believe that the stinging sensation will clear the palate; that it's good for digestion and health. We went on to talk about what the natural property of the chili is and how it creates a physiological sensation of burning, which is a direct experience. But the next aspect of that reality is what we make of the experience. A cultural belief system can be part of the experience. So a Burmese person might bite down on a chili, feel the burning, and say, "Well, good." Whereas I was saying, "I've got to get out of this country! Maybe I can go to Thailand and get a salad!" 

"Another definition of mindfulness is a quality of awareness that does not add to its object, grasp at it, or push it away in aversion or delusion. If we perceive a pleasant sight or sound or sensation in body, we try to prolong it and keep it from ever changing. If a sensation is painful, we shove it away in anger, or strike out against an object we perceive as causing us pain. And if the experience is neutral, like eating that apple, or hearing a breath, we may space out or disconnect. It's in the moment of mindfulness, the moment of awareness, that you can connect to the object without adding to it, grasping it or pushing it away. "

Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk and human rights activist who lives in exile in France first introduced me to the subject of Mindfulness with his fabulous books on the subject and he has recently published Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life He says that practicing mindfulness cultivates understanding, love, compassion, and joy and that the practice helps us to take care of and transform suffering in our lives and in our society. He visited Google headquarters for a half day of mindfulness teaching recently. Check out a short video of the event here. 

We will delve deeper into some of Thich Nhat Hanh's teachings soon and I will share some of my own experiences of trying to be mindful. Stay tuned for that and for a Buddhist perspective on chocolate cake with Venerable Robina Courtin ...I cant wait! 

Practice: (this one is borrowed from the Mindful in May campaign) Try setting a phone reminder a few times per day with the message "how are you feeling in this moment?" as a way of training yourself to take the time to notice what's going on, in your environment and in your mind. Another tactic is to do so every time the phone rings or every time you make a cup of tea. Pick something you do throughout the day and make it a reminder to pay attention. In order to learn to respond to the moment in a positive way, we first have to be aware of what's happening in the moment. Try it and let us know how it goes.

Metta,

Dharma Mama